I think it’s safe to say that over the past five years or so, many of us have become increasingly aware of the concept of emotional intelligence. Whether we’ve been on the receiving end of someone else’s lack of it—or found ourselves reacting in ways we didn’t fully understand—we’ve all had moments that revealed how deeply we need to grow in this area.
There’s a real and painful fallout that comes from being in the wrong place at the wrong time when the weight of the world collides with someone who isn’t aware of their own emotions.
Their pressure, their unprocessed stress, their pain—it spills over. And sometimes, it spills onto you.
Your joy, your abilities, even your simple presence might unknowingly trigger something in them, and suddenly, you’re the target.
It can leave you feeling hurt. Confused. Angry. Scared. Threatened.
And then, after drying your tears, you dig deep.
You realize their reaction had little—if anything—to do with you.
But that doesn’t mean the experience didn’t leave you without wounds. Wounds that need healing.
When it comes to anger over pain inflicted, in all honestly, one of the hesitancies I had to writing again, was the fear of revealing my own—of unleashing it.
I could have titled this post Anger, Fear, Threat, or Disappointment, because those are very real parts of what we can feel.
But instead I chose to title it Forgiveness—because that’s the answer to healing.
The first step is acknowledging that it’s okay to feel the raw feelings of pain. The second is knowing that it’s forgiveness that brings the healing.
Forgiveness that’s rooted in love: love for Him, for yourself, and yes, even for the person who hurt you.
Forgiveness is a fruit of emotional intelligence.
It’s born from understanding—of yourself, and of those around you who may not yet have learned how to truly feel what they’re feeling.
And while the process isn’t easy, I love knowing it’s possible, I love knowing that you can be hurt, and yet you can become stronger.
You can become more compassionate. You can become more gracious. And you can love those who hurt you even more deeply.
Because after all, though some space may be needed for a time. One day, they will be in a position in which they are ready to grow.
And what a reward it will be to celebrate in their ability to truly understand love, self assurance, and the strength of vulnerability.
RP
